w/e 18/7/10 - So how can anybody say, They know how I feel, When they are they, And only I am I.

All these months of training, of heading out onto the Lakes fells to get the route in my head, of heading over to Stoodley and plodding up and down to get the ascent in my legs….all now concentrated into the last mad few days of packing and prepping and resting and worrying and trying to clear the fog that surrounds my brain and gain the clarity of mind needed to get round on Saturday.

Just wrote a big, long blog about all sorts of stuff that’s filling my head….and then deleted it! Suffice to say the head’s not been focused on the BG at all, but has been swimming with an array of issues which convince me more and more that I want, no NEED, to find a different way forward, a more peaceful, profitable (not in the monetary sense) and harmonious way of existing in this modern world, which is so at odds with the way I feel and think. It can be done! The good news is that I have the will and desire to do it, I share that hope and ambition with another wonderful human being and, over the course of the last few months, we’ve come across others with a similar viewpoint.

This world is full of so many wonderful and amazing things, and we must, as a race, allow ourselves to connect more with nature and re-discover our roots. Re-discover what it truly important in life. Remember that everything that nature has given us should be valued and treasured and not treated as a commodity, for the purpose of making monetary profits.

Perhaps it’s a good thing that my head has been distracted. It means I haven’t spent nights awake worrying about the BG! I’m not having nightmares about Yewbarrow, I don’t see a great impenetrable barrier in my dreams, which turns out to be Great Gable!

Hopefully, as we head off to the Lakes tomorrow, I can start to focus my mind and get myself mentally prepared for what will be a tough day, I know that. The weather forecast is looking good after weeks of awful weather….but of course we all know you can’t rely on forecasts! It will be what it will be. The main thing is that the strong winds of the last few weeks are forecast to die out by Friday, and conditions look calm. That will make a huge difference.

Kirsten’s doing an amazing job of pulling all of my support together and packaging everything up into boxes. I almost feel on the periphery of it all! Fancy doing the BG for me as well Kirsten?

I’ve got great support, some of the very best in the business, people I trust and respect – what more could I ask for? I’ve just got to deliver on the day. I’ve rested up a lot these last 3 weeks, conscious of the fact that my body felt like it was falling apart and I had to, in particular, rest the sore foot and let the Achilles settle as much as possible. The foot’s had its rest – I have a feeling it’ll never be the same again after Saturday! And the Achilles – well I’ve done all I can. It’s a problem that isn’t going away, I think from now on I just have to manage it. Saturday will, I’m sure, leave it in a right mess and I’ll be wearing sandals or plimsolls for a month….it’s the price you pay if you really want it I guess!

Hopefully Saturday will be a great day out, a successful and happy one, and a culmination of three years of building up to this moment. Whatever happens, the fells will still be there, I’ll still love being out in them, the future will still be exciting and daunting in equal measure, and I’ll still have that wonderful support and love by my side.

Roll on Friday evening………………..